When looking at sympathy-the conformity of feelings, inclinations, or temperament that makes persons agreeable to each other; community of feeling; harmony of disposition-there are limitations in sympathy by the mere nature of conformity. Because conformity occurs in three ways: acceptance, compliance, or obedience; so too does sympathy. Essentially sympathizing with another can happen for the sake of sympathy rather than the true assimilation of two people, where one undergoes distress and the sympathizer does not. Empathy, on the other hand, defies the limitations of sympathy.
Empathy is the power of projecting one's personality into (and so fully comprehending) the object of contemplation. In other words two walk entirely together; although not physically, rather personally. I do not use emotionally because emotion is a superficial response to many events. This is not to say that emotional responses are not byproducts of empathy because they are. Empathy is more than emotional enticement; it is truly to experience distress with another, which takes special elements: transparency in the distressed and maturity in the empathizer. Empathy should be the focus of both ministry and psychology, which are inseparable. If counseling is without empathy, the counselor should simply go home.
I learned this simple truth in my minimal experience with ministry and psychology and within two special books in which the authors lay themselves on the table for examination as one author lives with autism and the other with cerebral palsy. These two books (Trapped by Fran Macilvey and Now to Him by Faith Rose) are not yet published but I hope a publisher finds them soon. It is in these two books where the differences between sympathy and empathy are realized. I highly recommend all to visit these two books and read the first chapter, at least! Perhaps the authors will visit this post, answer questions, and provide any new publishing developments
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